A Shrewdness of Apes

An Okie teacher banished to the Midwest. "Education is not the filling a bucket but the lighting of a fire."-- William Butler Yeats

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Scenes from a high school as graduation nears

Scene 1: Kid walks into the Cornelius classroom. This is a kid who has been, let us say, not very successful in the classroom this year.

Kid has a bag with a cap and gown in it. Hmmmm.

"Hey, Ms. Cornelius! I get to graduate!" expostulates kid.
"Well that's just wonderful," responds the puzzled teacher.
"Yeah, Mr. New Principal told me no, and that I didn't have the English credits, but Mr. Plea-Bargain said I could!" Kid wriggles with glee.
"Isn't Mr. New Principal your principal?"
"Yeah, but Mr. Plea-Bargain is in charge of graduation."
He is-- the ceremony itself. He is also the least experienced (and competent) of all our principals.
"So am I gonna see you at graduation, Ms. Cornelius?"
"Oh yes, you can count on it," I say. I didn't even grit my teeth until the kid left.

Scene 2: Kid walks into the Cornelius classroom. It is the first day of finals. Class was over on Friday.

"Ms. Cornelius, can I have some extra credit?"

Scene 3: Senior grades for all teachers are due in 3 hours. An email arrives in the in-box.

"Would all teachers who have sent final exams to the ESOL resource room please check to see if another student's final was stapled to a final they received? A final exam has been misplaced."

Scene 4: Ms. Cornelius has gotten all of the signatures on her sign-out sheet save one. Ms. Cornelius cannot find her sign-out sheet. She now has to start over. Right after she finds her gingko biloba.

Scene 5? Probably a lot of teachers rushing out in a mass exodus for a margarita.



At 5/30/07, 6:42 PM, Blogger CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

I vote for Scene 2. Love the cheek/chutzpah of that kid!!!!

At 5/30/07, 8:18 PM, Blogger Butterfly Angel said...

Scene #4 happened to the ELL teacher. She had thrown it in the trash but I think she rescued it in the nick of time.

Scene #5... 2 margaritas!

Enjoy your well-earned break!

At 5/30/07, 9:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously? Scene two happens to me ALL THE TIME - it's something they don't seem to grow out of once they get to college.

My favorite student at the moment is the kid with the brass ones to ask me to accept his homework two days late after admitting that he threw out the email with the original assigment and acknowledging the furious tirade I went on a few weeks ago saying that "no late homework" MEANS no late homework. Instead of replying to him with what I WANTED to say, I cut and pasted the rant email I used to follow up that tirade and told him to re-read.

"Cheek" indeed.

At 5/31/07, 8:28 AM, Blogger Mrs. Bluebird said...

Margaritas, definitely margaritas.

Don't you love the extra credit kids - not! I often wonder if they ask their bosses for extra credit should they ever manage to get hired somewhere.


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