A Shrewdness of Apes

An Okie teacher banished to the Midwest. "Education is not the filling a bucket but the lighting of a fire."-- William Butler Yeats

Monday, May 21, 2007

Movie Madness Monday 66: Hypochondriac edition

Welcome to Movie Madness Monday, the weekly movie quote trivia game. Here's how we play: I give you some quotes from a movie, you respond with quotes of your own from the same movie without revealing the name of the movie, 'kay?

Now, I bet a bunch of you are hacking and sneezing your way through the spring, so of course this film came to mind:

"I try to manage that risk by avoiding danger and having a plan and knowing what my next move is. And I guess you don't exactly live your life that way. Yeah... which is great, but I'm not gonna ever be a dirty dancer, and I don't eat food with my hands, and I really like you, but I just don't think this is gonna work out."

"Hey, aren't you that kid from Crocodile Tears?"
"That's right. I'm Sandy Lyle."
"Man I saw that movie in high school. That bagpipes scene, that was the funniest shit."
"Yeah, we had a good time on that picture. You want an autograph?"
"No, thanks. It's good to see you man. I thought you died like fifteen years ago."
"No. I'm very much alive, my friend."

"You don't know what it was like for me growing up. I had a mother who made me afraid of everything!"
"Well, big deal, Reuben, my dad had a whole second family!"
"What?"
"Yeah, on Long Island. He had a wife, and kids, and a golden retriever!"

"I've been living my life, okay? I've been in good relationships and I've been in shitty ones... and I've moved alot... and I've been happy, and I've been sad... and I've been lonely... and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more then I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts!"

****Weekend Update: Along came , and she almost ruined him but

ALONG CAME POLLY

and made his life more complex and germy.

Have I told you that I hate ferrets? No? Right there with skwirls for me, but ferrets are stinkier. And since people are actually MORE prone to carry around ferrets, there is far more chance of having someone thrust one at you when all you want to do is find a skillet and smack it.... Did I just say that? Ummmm, I mean. I am sure they are lovely pests-- I mean "pets"-- and all, one of God's creatures totally deserving of life. Like, say, a cottonmouth or a cockroach. Yeah.

The ferret ruined this movie for me. I kept wanting to say, "Run for the hills, Reuben! That chick is obviously unbalanced!" But Jennifer Aniston is adorable. Now the character played by Philip Seymour Hoffman was certainly a stretch for him. From Sandy to Capote. It boggles the mind.

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6 Comments:

At 5/20/07, 2:39 PM, Blogger leesepea said...

OOOOOOH! I know this one!

"Reuben, I'm in a situation here. We have to leave now."
"No. Can we stay a couple more minutes?"
"Dude, no. This is serious. I just sharted."
"I don't know what that means."
"I tried to fart and a little shit came out. I just sharted. Now let's go."
"You're the most disgusting person I've ever met in my life."

A movie rife with germophobic potty humor = A middle school teacher's dream!

 
At 5/20/07, 7:09 PM, Blogger M-Dawg said...

I love the ferret in the film - I think he steals the movie. :-) Check out the bonus features on the DVD - they have a "special" on the ferret.

And, "the sharted" comment is the best.

 
At 5/21/07, 11:55 AM, Blogger Ms. Q said...

"It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for."

 
At 5/23/07, 11:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not about what happened in the past, or what you think might happen in the future. It's about the ride, for Christ's sake. There is no point in going through all this crap, if your are not going to enjoy the ride. And you know what... when you least expect something great might come along. Something better then you even planned for.

 
At 5/23/07, 7:01 PM, Blogger Mr. Lawrence said...

"White chocolate!"

 
At 5/24/07, 6:51 PM, Blogger donald Cruickshank said...

Hi:
I am in need of your permission to possibly edit and use one of your blogs in a book for teachers. http://shrewdnessofapes.blogspot.com/2005/09/naked-ape.html
Don't know how to reach you but hope this does.

Don Cruickshank
Professor Emeritus
Ohio State University

 

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