A Pyrate's Lyffe For Me!

Avast there, me hearties! Today be "Talk Like A Pirate Day!" Ye scurvy dogs must know that the pirate's life be the one for me! They call me the "Dread Pyrate Roberts!" Call me a wench and forfeit yer life, ye bilge rat! Heave to starboard and open a cask o' rum, now, and ye'll be me mate for life!

Aye... rum. Run 'r Pepsi ho! Thar be a mug o' grog for all, and I'd not be tradin' it for a dead man's chest of doubloons till ye're loaded to the gunwhales!! Thar be no designated driver on the High Seas ceptin' the Dread Pyrate Roberts! Gentlemen and Lassies o' Fortune, hear me call to arms, and join me in the Sweet Trade!