Thursday Thirteen: Karma chameleon edition

1. Charter Cable goes bankrupt. Yes, finally, the end of an alleged television provider that doesn't actually provide television service except when druids are dancing at Stonehenge-- no offense intended to any neo-Pagans out there.

2. Roland Burris didn't really mean that he told the "whole truth" before getting his senate seat, just the part of the whole truth that wouldn't peel the crazed leech of ambition off his moral compass.

3. A-Rod was stupid. We get that. But not so stupid that he's going to give back a quarter billion bucks. So I don't think the stupidity defense really works. But the "cojones the size of marbles" thing now has some real traction on the credibility scale.

4. Even Argentina doesn't want Richard Williamson, ersatz bishop of the Catholic Church.

5. What the hell is the point of the SEC? I hope our new president gives that some thought. But Texas billionaires do not blend into the scenery.

6. And on the same subject, how do you get people not to think about what they are doing? By making them feel like they're part of an exclusive club if they don't let you rob them blind.

7. Stop me if you've heard this one before... corrupt CEO misappropriates funds. But when you hurt my friends, jocko, you've hurt me. Rot in prison.

8. So much about this is wrong.

9. That would be an ippon, I believe. Thieves beware.

10. If you don't say thanks, I'll bash you with a golf club.

11. Sagging finally trips up tha thug life.

12. A tiger in the tank? Perhaps you meant "Panama Red."

13. Wow. The mortgage crisis means you can't even keep your cave.

Thursday Thirteen: thirteen common things I don't get

Yes, I realize how strange I am, thankyewverrymuch.

1. I hate cinnamon-- the flavor or even the smell. Yuck.

2. I consider wrapping presents completely unappetizing. I will do anything to avoid this-- it seems so pointless.

3. I likewise don't do Christmas letters or even Christmas cards. It's not that I'm Scrooge-- I just can't think of anything interesting to say, nor do I ever seem to have enough time.

4. I dislike hockey-- it's like indoor soccer on an extremely cold surface with occasional outbreaks of drunken boxing (punch, miss, fall down). And I believe indoor soccer is an abomination, right up there with the designated hitter.

5. Likewise, it has been at least ten years since I watched a pro basketball game. When Latrell Sprewell choked PJ Carlesimo, I decided that that was the end-- no matter how annoying PJ Carlesimo is. There is no defense in pro basketball, and I find that incredibly boring.

6. Any sort of horror movie absolutely turns my stomach. I have regretted seeing Se7en for YEARS. Hell, I still regret seeing the childbirth scene in Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and I walked out of that one.

7. I have never "gotten my nails done." What's the point? I play guitar. And I knew my husband was the man for me when he saw me painting my nails when we were dating and told me he thought it was ridiculous. I actually heard violins and a heavenly choir.

8. I think Titanic is the most annoying movie ever-- and the same for Leonardo DiCaprio. Watching him with Kate Winslet was like watching Madonna and Britney kiss: I'm sure that really works for some, but just not for me. And the whole time he was in the water, I kept thinking, "When will the hypothermia kick in, fercryin'outloud?"

9. I won't wear heels for any reason whatsoever. No way. The same with those shoes with the really pointy toes. You might as well walk on razor blades.

10. As a matter of fact, although my aching achilles' tendon pushed me into wearing Birkenstocks, I think UGG boots are hideous. As are Crocs. Not to mention tattoos, tongue piercing, and sagging. I think these fads' continued popularity go hand in hand with explaining the elections of George W. Bush-- some people will buy ANYTHING.

11. Reality TV is as painful to me as driving staples into my temple. I do NOT need to see people's most embarrassing moments or irrational tears-- it reminds me too much of school. NOT funny.

12. Soul patches and beards with no moustaches: FUNNY. But not in a good way.

13. Pepperoni and ham: yes. Any other pork: NO.

My Own Thursday Thirteen: Thankfulness

As the school year winds down, I like to take stock of the year and list all my many blessings. I even like to take some of my banes and try to view them as blessings. To wit:

1. I am grateful for the assistant principal calling the one insane parent who didn't believe me the previous times I told her her daughter was in danger of failing--- until she actually did, and then the waterworks started and the dealmaking was attempted. The phone calls were coming about every hour, until I thought I would lose my mind. He told her the subject was closed, and actually knew that I had tried everything to get this girl to take her grade seriously. The phone calls blessedly stopped.

2. I am grateful that that principal was with us-- because now he's among the leaving.

3. I am grateful my husband could stay home with the kids and work from home while I finished off the school year. If they ever figure out a way for teachers to telecommute, I will be all over that.

4. I am grateful that it finally stopped raining, and that the sun is shining-- for now, according to the weather man. Drat.

5. I am grateful I don't have to spend any more time with Redneck Mother-- who elevated being a Neanderthal to an art form lately.

6. I am grateful I get to watch my son carry sticks around and make all kinds of cool architectural marvels in the back yard-- until the dogs run through them at Mach 3. I am also grateful he just shrugs his shoulders and starts over again.

7. I am grateful for my friend Little Flower as she retires. I don't think the middle school has figured out what they will be missing next year-- but they will.

8. I am grateful that i got to meet one of the foreign exchange student's parents. What a wonderful surprise! It wasn't a surprise that they were wonderful people, just as their daughter is.

9. I am grateful for discovering the band Vampire Weekend. If any music screams out "Summer!", then this is it. I believe I shall crank it as I work in my room. I love "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa."

10. I am grateful that the computerized grading system only froze once this week. Of course, it was right when senior grades were due, and I had to stay an hour after school waiting for it to get fixed, but let's not nitpick.

11. I am grateful that my most emotionally disabled student managed to really turn it on, get himself together, be an absolute angel, AND score a solid B on the final exam. My second most afflicted student actually managed to pass by a hair again. Whoo-hoo!

12. Did I mention that the sun is shining?

13. I am grateful I found this shirt. It says, "The beatings will continue until morale improves." Doesn't that just sum up life in education?

What are you feeling grateful for?

Thursday Thirteen Number 8: After a long hiatus, thirteen authors for whom I am thankful

Okay, so I started doing this thing a while back, and then they cancelled it for a while, so I was afraid I was the Kiss of Death to it. But here goes again......

Thirteen AUTHORS I LOVE 1. P.G. Wodehouse. He maketh my heart laugh as a hart pants for cooling streams. I want my own Jeeves to keep me from my own stupidity. This stuff is laugh-out-loud hilarious! Can lift the vilest mood. 2. Robert A. Heinlein. Even if he was sometimes a tad misogynistic, I still loved him. I think I have read everything he ever wrote. Of course, I'm like that. 3. J. K. Rowling. Please. I don't have to explain, do I? 4. Barbara Brown Taylor. Her sermons have helped me immensely. She is an Episcopal priest who is now a college professor. I wouldn't have made it through preaching class without her. 5. J. R. R. Tolkien. Unbelievable! Although the Silmarillion was not always so thrilling, I loved The Hobbit when I first read it at the age of nine. 6. C. S. Lewis. I am currently trying to get through all of his works. A Grief Observed helped me so much when my Dad died. 7. Eudora Welty. Another one who can make me laugh at any time. "Why I Live at the P.O." is just like my family, sadly. 8. John Steinbeck. Sweet Thursday and Cannery Row are enough. Then there's The Grapes of Wrath. 9. Harper Lee. Who cares if it's only one book? WHAT a book it was! 10. Angie Debo. She taught me so much about history and influenced me so much in my studies. 11. Thomas Merton. Not so fond of the Seven Storey Mountain-- he was a bit too strident there-- but his work in Contemplative Prayer and Life and Holiness were really useful. He died all too soon-- he was just getting to the really good stuff before his untimely end. 12. Jane Kenyon. Incredibly true poetry. It could have been otherwise. 13. Howard Nemerov. I once got to hear him speak at my husband's commencement. He was funny and erudite and joyful. Another great American poet. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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Thursday Thirteen Number 5: I have a very bad feeling about this edition

Thirteen Reasons Why The latest three Star Wars Movies are Awful And the truly sad part is that we can't go back and fix this. It's ruined forever. 1. There is no sense of humor evident in Star Wars episdoes I-III. Jar Jar Binks is exhibit A. Does anyone remember the smart-aleck repartee that Harrison Ford and Carrie Fischer got to volley back and forth? 2. The scripts were wooden and the character interaction simplistic. There was nothing believable about the relationships, no spark, no chemistry. Now, George would not have had to look far to find someone to help him out here-- ironically, Carrie Fischer has worked as a script doctor in Hollywood, punching up the dialogue and pacing. Imagine what she could have done with this set of scripts! 3. By putting so much emphasis on computer-generated characters, the story lost its soul. Yoda hopping around like a flea on hot metal; androids that don't breathe wheezing and coughing, and back to Jar Jar Binks-- did we really have to have a character in Star Wars speaking in the "Ubby-Dubby" language from that childhood educational program on PBS called The Electric Company? Then there's was Watto, Anakin's owner on Tatooine-- at any second, I expected him to say something like "Now, THAT's a spicy meatball!" like a bad imitation of Chef Boy-ar-dee. It did not have to be this way, though. Look what Peter Jackson did in LOTR with Gollum. 4. Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christiansen. EGAD. If this is the main character for your entire saga, George, why didn't you pick someone who could actually ACT? These boys had all the emotional depth of a protozoa. 5. And speaking of protozoa, what exactly was Anakin's father again? The Holy Spirit? So is this story about what would have happened if Jesus had turned to evil? 6. And how is it that all those Jedi could be in the presence of Palpatine and not recognize that the Force was strong with him? 7. Would Darth Vader really have gone around claiming that every single thing that happened to him was "unfair?" Say what you will, Darth was not a pouter. Ever. 8. Speed up all the light-saber duels with computers, and you end up making all of us wonder why Obi-wan and Vader's climactic fight in Star Wars IV was so sluggish and plodding. 9. If Anakin Skywalker created C-3PO, why didn't C-3PO recognize the Skywalker name when sold to Owen on Tatooine? Why didn't Owen or Beru recognize Threepio? 10. When asked about her mother in Star Wars VI, Leia says she remembers just a little about her. How could this be true if Padme dies seconds after Leia's birth? 11. Where are the scoundrels? We loved our Han Solos and Lando Calrissians! In fact did anyone in episodes I-III have a heart of gold under a tough-guy exterior? Indeed, were there ANY tough guys in the first three episodes? 12. Do you really believe that Padme found Anakin attractive? This was the greatest mismatch since Billy Bob Thornton married Angelina Jolie. 13. Notice the purple background here. That's representing the foofy purple lightsaber used by pigeon-toed Mace Windu, alias Samuel L. Jackson. Nothing personal, Mr. Jackson. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Elementaryhistoryteacher 2. Stacie 3. Kathy 4. Susan Helene Gottfried (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) ...You're NEXT! Last one in is a Jawa!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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Thursday Thirteen Number 3

Thirteen Things I Learned from My Dad 1. Football teaches you about life (pronounced l-a-h-f). 2. The Orange Bowl isn't the Orange Bowl unless OU is playing in it for the national championship. 3. Barbecue is the best food ever. 4. Louisiana Hot Sauce is good on everything. 5. Watermelon is more interesting with salt on it. 6. Wuthering Heights is a great book. My dad insisted I read it when I was about 11, and I loved it. 7. A mechanic is only as good as his tools. 8. A man can live his life as a complete, patriarchal, sexist pig-- until he has a little girl who might not get to do whatever she wants. 9. A real friend helps his friends whenever they need help, and tries to do it humbly and secretly. 10. You should never be without a pocket knife-- and he was right. Everytime I haven't had one, I needed one. 11. The day is not done until the crossword puzzle is done. 12. Little children like green gum. 13. A good vocabulary can take you anywhere. Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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