What a relief that idiocy knows no bounds.

Apparently, there ARE stupid people everywhere, and some of them teach school (just like every other profession). From Australia:

An Australian teacher was reprimanded after giving students an assignment to plan an extremist attack designed to inflict maximum casualties, officials said Wednesday.

The Kalgoorlie-Boulder Community High School class in Western Australia were told to plot against "an unsuspecting Australian community", with the goal "to kill the most innocent civilians in order to get your message across".

The students, aged between 15 and 17, had to explain their choice of victim, location, time and weapon, as well as describe the effects their method would have on the human body.

The assignment, which was designed to test pupils' ability to apply what they had learned about terrorism in a society and environment lesson to "real life", was quickly withdrawn after an angry backlash from parents.

"It was certainly an inappropriate method of exploring the issue of conflict and had the potential to offend and disturb parents and impressionable students," said Western Australia state education minister Liz Constable.

Sharyn O'Neill, head of the state's education department, said it was "inappropriate, it was insensitive and rightly, people are upset".

She apologised to one family in particular with a girl in the class who had lost a relative in the 2002 bombings on the Indonesian resort island of Bali.

"We are very sorry for the pain and discomfort that this situation has caused," said O'Neill. "Certainly no ill was meant by this assessment task."

School principal Terry Martino said the teacher was "relatively inexperienced" and it was a "well-intentioned but misguided attempt to engage the students".

Wow. Really? It would have been such a better assessment of the lesson's goals to assign kids this: You are the new Home Secretary (or whatever Australians call an equivalent position). How specifically would you attempt to prevent a terrorist attack in _________ (name the nearest large city in Australia). Create a list of at least 5 concrete actions or programs that could be created to address specific situations discussed in class."

Oh, yeah, you're a RIOT.

So remember the last fight I broke up?

The same copper who stood there open-mouthed whilst your gentle narrator took one of the miscreants firmly in hand saw me today and said, "So, Ms. Cornelius, used any ninja moves lately?"

I thought about saying, "No-- but could I practice on your pointy head? I need a practice dummy." But you know, he does have a gun, so I just ha-haaaed and walked away.

Gives new meaning to the word "flatfoot."

My analyst told me that I was right outta my head....

That's the song in my head when I read these:

Pat Robertson strikes again, and this time it's Haiti that has pissed off his Mesopotamian version of God. Oh and then there's this clever rejoinder from Satan, himself....

Well of COURSE Mary Kay is more important than Columbus, DUH! But I wonder if they know that some of our founding fathers denied the deity of Jesus?

Do Vermont secessionists realize that they would have roughly the same population as Montenegro?

One usually doesn't apologize and turn oneself in BEFORE one commits the crime....I wonder if this guy wasn't just looking for three squares and a cot?

When life is like a movie... or not.

I was sitting in the mall-- which, let me tell you, is about as fun for me as a root canal-- while my husband stared open-mouthed at some sort of electronic doodad in some electronics store when I heard a familiar voice over my left shoulder. It was the Nightstalker.

The Nightstalker is a former student who says that he is a vampire. I mean it.

Really.

He has even sharpened two of his teeth to resemble fangs.

I swear I don't make this stuff up.

Anyway, for some reason, you know that this kid took a shine to me, whyohwhy I do not know, but since he spent most of his time wandering the hallways trying to fascinate girls who didn't normally garner a lot of teenaged-boy attention, and he didn't actually do too well with the whole grade thing, and then he got one of his ghoulfriends girlfriends pregnant and dropped out of school permanently. He complained about the fact that the girlfriend's parents hated him and wouldn't let him see the baby, and I tried gently to explain to him that maybe-just-maybe it was because he talked about drinking blood. A lot. And yeah, THERE'S a conversation I never envisioned having when I was training to be a teacher. Just goes to show ya.

But anyway, there at Retail Hell, there he was. I surreptitiously quick-checked to make sure I still had a pulse and delicately sniffed the air for traces of sulphur as he slid onto the bench beside me. I barely recognized him. Previously, he had modeled his hair on a character from that '80s Kiefer Sutherland flick The Lost Boys. But of course, unless you've been living under a preteen-free rock for the last several months, you should know that there're some new bloodsuckers in town. So guess what he looked like now?


Muh-huh. It was too dark to see if he's covered his skin with glitter, but I'll bet you anything...

There IS one thing I'd like to see him emulate about Edward Cullen though-- and that would be the stack of mortarboards indicating graduation from high school.

I think online shopping is great, don't you?