Status report

The classroom is normally packed with bodies. But apparently there is some kind of combination of insanity and crud drifting the halls of the high school, that crazed year-end malaise of those who suddenly stick their heads up out of the fog and realize that they are this close -- thisclose-- to not earning their credits and it's time to try to sic their parents or grandma or whomever on the mean teachers who haven't performed miracles for them, who haven't just given up on expecting them to do their homework and even study. These are the people who are going to claim that you've never spoken to their kid, never suggested coming in for help, never been available after school every single day, and so therefore there has to be an appeals process somewhere whereby they will magically be granted a grade that is more commensurate with their lofty expectations.

There is the mad scramble of kids who spend hours each day updating their Facebook page to claim that their honors classes take too much of their time and they can't possibly remain in them next semester. But they can write stuff like: "Connor is now sneezing." Four seconds later: "Connor is thinking about pie." Two minutes later: "Connor has a rash in his armpit." This is going on during the same three hours that the kid is claiming that he spends EVERY NIGHT doing his AP Chemistry homework.

There is some sort of flu going around. It's the kind of flu that makes one incapable of dragging oneself out of bed for school but dressed and ready to party when someone texts that Janie's parents are out of town this weekend. One of the students in this classroom has had this flu every single day for twenty school days in a row, but Mom has been allowed to call him in sick, and these absences are excused. The semester ends in 8 days, and this student now wants all of his makeup work. He was going to come in this morning, and we were told to look for him. But the seat sat empty again. The last time this kid was in class was eighty years of United States history ago.

There's the kid who makes you laugh because he just told you that his English teacher has started taking his vampire book away from him until he finishes the two page paper that is due in twenty minutes. Talk about bringing out the hammer!

There's the kid who just went to the bathroom and threw up, and is now lying to me about it so she doesn't have to go to the nurse. I'm hoping that I don't know the reason why she just threw up, because all three possibilities or a combination thereof would not be good at all.

This classroom is usually packed with bodies. Right now it is just packed with teen angst.

But it is Friday, and a storm may be heading our way. A storm may be already here.