A Shrewdness of Apes

An Okie teacher banished to the Midwest. "Education is not the filling a bucket but the lighting of a fire."-- William Butler Yeats

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The TMI Chronicles: bodily alteration edition

Thank you ever so much for showing me your fabulous new tattoo. Really. There's nothing I like better than seeing a crusty, scabbed-over picture of a tribal design wrapped all the way around an adolescent arm. Original. And right before lunch! How special!

And then young man, remind me some day to ask you why, in the name of all that is good and beautiful in the world, you decided to sharpen your two canine teeth so that you would remind one of some sort of feral animal. Now, THAT is something I have never seen before. Really. I can actually say that it is something I never thought I WOULD see. That's gotta be worth something.


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At 3/25/08, 6:21 PM, Blogger 100 Farmers said...

Today in the middle of 7th period. -Hey Miss, hey Miss! Look! My mom let me get my grill cemented in. Me, "Sigh...."

At 3/25/08, 7:27 PM, Blogger Mrs. Chili said...

There's a kid who works in our grocery store who's stretched his earlobes big enough - I swear to God - for me to put my hand through (and no, I haven't, but the ring size is comparable to my bangle bracelet). That crap doesn't grow back - one would need plastic surgery (and not a little, I'd imagine) to fix it. I wonder how he's going to feel about his earlobes when he's 35 and looking for a real job...

At 3/26/08, 2:38 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

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At 3/27/08, 9:32 AM, Blogger Mrs. T said...

I've not seen the sharpened choppers- how ... primitive.
Why can't they just stick to doing weird crap to their hair?

At 3/27/08, 10:18 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of the tattoos just drive me crazy, especially when they are covering both arms. I haven't seen the elongated earlobes, but that sounds even more disgusting.

At 3/27/08, 3:52 PM, Blogger ms-teacher said...

Ahh, the beauty of body modification. As one with more than a few tattoos, I still cannot wrap my brain around some type of body mods such as the one you described with the teeth. Some people have their tongues split in order for it to be more serpent like. The whole stretching the earlobes such squick me out.

At 3/27/08, 8:27 PM, Blogger "Ms. Cornelius" said...

100- that is right up my alley this week. I'll wait for it.

Chili-But I have seen th earlobe thing, and one of my students then tried to join the working week after he had done it. It DID take plastic surgery, and it wasn't pleasant or cheap.

Mrs t- because it isn't edgy! W can't really call it keepin' it real, though.

betty, I'll be honest, I am not one for tattoos. But I will say I've seen worse-- a few years back branding-- yes, branding-- was big, and when I first taught at the high school a kid suddenly showed me his pierced nipples (and promptly got written up, natch).

and ms-teacher, I wonder if it's because they see grown up people wearing tattoos, that's why they've got to push the envelope. But I've heard of but never actually seen the split tongue thing, although another kid who's in a band showed me his tattoo of the word "silence" INSIDE his lower lip.

I really don't encourage this sharing of body adornment, I swear. I think perhaps it's because I am rather unflappable that they try perhaps to see if something will freak me out. Oh, well.

At 3/28/08, 8:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My favorite comment to the tattoed ones are

"why did you get your name tattoed on your arm? are you afraid you'll forget?"

"Do you know what that even says?" *japanese ideogram* "how do you know it doesn't say 'for good time call...'"

"you realize that some people will not hire you?" to which the student will protest that they can't tell him what to do "they are not telling you what to do, they just won't hire you."

At 3/29/08, 9:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The sharpened teeth one makes me cringe in horror. (I need a crown on a back-tooth and the dentist described the process to me as, "First, we grind down the bad tooth..." Ugh.)

Some people must have a far higher tolerance for pain than I do.

(Also - short of dental implants or caps - there's no way to undo sharpened teeth. I long for the halcyon days of the 80s, where the biggest trouble my friends and I contemplated was dying our hair with Kool-aid.)

At 4/9/08, 9:27 PM, Blogger LSquared32 said...

It's not that it's gross, but the tooth thing makes me cringe because it seems like it must make the tooth less sturdy and decay retardant. It just looks like a whole lot of expensive dental work waiting to be done in about 5 years.


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