Dear Counselor: Get a grip.

Disclaimer: We actually do have several really wonderful counselors at our school. But there are three that, ohdearlawd, just make me wanna holler.

By the way, how many counselors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one, but the light bulb has to really WANT to change.

So here's the lay of the land: Similar situation to the last once I related, in fact same kid. Different counselor, same query (this counselor is a refugee from Godspell-- I swear, I'm waiting for the mime makeup to complement the peasant dresses). Can't I just excuse Kiddo so she can get all her extra-curriculars done? Oh, and "her parents won't accept any grade lower than an A from Kiddo's teachers."

Here's my response in a nutshell: I AM concerned about Kiddo. I am especially concerned that Kiddo absolutely cannot speak for herself to anyone but has asked, at various times: Counselor to intercede with me and with the physics teacher; Physics teacher with intercede with the sponsor of Student Council; the sponsor of Student Council to intercede with the track coach ....ad nauseam.

Today Kiddo came face to face with a conflict between my absolute deadline for make-up work and a chance to be involved in some after-school event (I want to point out that Kiddo could have taken care of this yesterday, but chose to avoid making a choice, which is, of course, actually MAKING a choice). I could not in good conscience budge. Kiddo sulked her way through her make-up test, but got it done and went off to the event late.

Choices, people!

And meanwhile, Counselor Number 2, every time we intercede instead of Kiddo, we shield Kiddo from the fact that Kiddo is hopelessly overloaded. And frankly, I think we make Kiddo's emotional distress worse, since we reinforce Kiddo's obviously perception of herself as powerless and voiceless-- to her parents, to club sponsors, to herself, and to teachers. Especially when it comes to saying "No" to something.

Okay, that's it, I've had it.

Subtitled, Is that rain, or are angels pissing on my head?



Monday, TWO wee pets died at Casa Cornelius.

Tuesday, the return of insane shrieking banshee mom claiming all sorts of malfeasance on my part and that I've made her daughter HATE school when the kid sits there and smiles at me every blasted day.

Wednesday, trials with relatives who seem to just push my buttons-- which makes sense, because they installed them.

Today, I get a nearly $100 ticket from a cop over my bike rack. MY BIKE RACK. She said it was "illegal." I hope the folks at Yakima know this.

I can't wait to see the joy and brickbats Friday may bring.

Those wishing to help may send margaritas by the gallon to:
Ms. Cornelius
c/o 1313 Mockingbird Lane
Bite Me, Frigid Midwest OU812

Tchah.

Conflict resolution

I was tagged with the following meme:

"What do you do when faced with conflict (if someone or something is bugging you) and/or how can you use your mind to avoid or resolve conflict?"

There is no simple answer to this question.

First, I decide if this annoyance is even worth a response. Some things are just not worth getting upset over. Anger and annoyance for me are cumulative, and if it's petty, I just go on my way.

Secondly, I am a person who meditates and prays. I usually try these related activities. If I decide that I need to confront the peron, meditation and prayer also helps me focus on responding in a firm yet civil manner. I am a Christian who tries to practice mindfulness and take responsibility for my actions. I have found great wisdom in books by Thomas Merton, Reinhold Niebuhr, C. S. Lewis, N. T. Wright, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Surya Das, the Dalai Lama, and Sylvia Boorstein, among others.

Thirdly, if it is worth it, I stand up for myself. I was a doormat for too long in my earlier life, and life is too short.

I hope that this answers the question.