Here's what your kids are listening to 3

What do you get when you combine Timbaland with Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake?

This. Well, it's not art. I really don't get the Justin Timberlake thing. He's got a pinched-up little face, a whiny little voice that sounds like a girl half the time, and basically he comes off like a scrawny little boy who's full of adolescent posing, and apparently that has rubbed off on Nelly, too. I get enough of that in my life already, thanks.

And now for your primer:

"talking greasy" is talking smack, dissing someone; "mami" is a sexy woman; "on lock" means under control

Give It To Me
(Timbaland featuring Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake)

[Timbaland]
Is it going? Is it going?
Is it going? Is it going?
I don't know.. what you're lookin' for

Oh yea boss
Come on

[Nelly Furtado]
I'm the type of girl to look you dead in the eye-eye
I'm real as it come if you don't know why I'm fly
Seen you tryinta switch it up but girl you ain't that dope
I'm a Wonder Woman, let me go get my robe
I'm a supermodel and mami, si mami
Amnesty International got Bangkok to Montauk on lock
love my ass and my abs in the video called "Promiscuous"
My style is ri-dic-dic-diculous, 'diculous, 'diculous

[Nelly + (Justin)]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't here to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Timbaland]
When Timbo is in the party, everybody put up they hands
I get a half a mil' for my beats, you get a couple gra-an-and
Never gon' see the day that I ain't got the upper hand
I'm respected from Californ-I-A, way down to Japan
I'm a real producer and you just a piano man
Your songs don't top the charts, I heard 'em, I'm not a fa-an-an
Niggas talkin' greasy, I'm the one that gave them they chance
Somebody need to tell them that they can't do it like I can

[Nelly + (Justin)]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't here to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Justin Timberlake]
Could you speak up and stop mu-mumbling, I don't think you came in clear
When you're sittin' on the top, it's hard to hear you from way up here
I saw you tryin' to act cute on TV, "Just let me clear the air..."
We missed you on the charts last week, damn, that's right you wasn't there
If se-sexy never left, then why's everybody on my shi-it-it
Don't hate on me just because you didn't come up with it
So if you see us in the club, go on and walk the other way
Cause our run will never be over, not at least until we say

[Nelly + Justin]
If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't here to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

[Nelly (Justin)]
Oh.. (Damn, improve)
(repeat)

[Nelly + Justin]
... club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't here to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)

If you see us in the club, we'll be actin' real nice
If you see us on the floor, you'll be watchin' all night
We ain't here to hurt nobody
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)
Wanna see you work your body
(So give it to me, give it to me, give it to me)



I can't believe anyone would want to listen to this more than once. It's about as cliched as "We Are the Champions," but dumber.

Here's what your kids are listening to 2

This week I've chosen to reveal the lyrics to a popular Carrie Underwood song which I have heard several of my young ladies singing at the top of their lungs. There's not a lot of slang in this one, but it is a popular song.

The advocacy of violence-- some might call it empowerment, but not me-- in this song makes me a bit uncomfortable, although certainly I wouldn't wink at infidelity, either.

Before He Cheats
Carrie Underwood

Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleach blonde tramp,
and she's probably getting frisky...
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink
cause she can't shoot whiskey...

Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick,
showing her how to shoot a combo...
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Right now, she's probably up singing some
white-trash version of Shania karaoke..
Right now, she's probably saying "I'm drunk"
and he's a thinking that he's gonna get lucky,
Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo...
And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats,
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,
Cause the next time that he cheats...
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

Ohh... not on me...
Cause I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats...
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Ohh.. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...
Ohh... before he cheats...

Here's what your kids are listening to: The inaugural edition

So last Friday, I was, ummmm, "enlightened" by one of my students about the significance of the date (four twenty), which is supposedly the day to smoke pot all day. I am so naive. So I'm going to strike a blow for those of us who can't negotiate the verbal minefield of current slang without a GPS device.

Ever wonder what the heck your students are talking about when they suddenly spout a piece of gibberish as they walk down the hall? Ever wonder what's being pumped into the tender little ears of your children and your students through their little white iPod earbuds? Ever said something innocently in class and have half of the kids fall out their chairs for no apparent reason?

Well, Ms. Cornelius is here to help. Once a week, I will post the lyrics to a current hot song for your edification. No longer will you be the old clueless fossil--I will help you be hip. And just in time for Prom season!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the lyrics to the poetic stylings of T-Pain and Yung Joc, treating us to their thoughts in "Buy U a Drank (Shawty Snappin')".

Some vocabulary you may need: Snap Music is apparently a dance-club based form of hip-hop coming out of the South, especially Georgia. "Crunk" (not the hip-hop genre, the adjective) is defined here and also here for us old geezers. But "crunk juice" is Red Bull and hard liquor.

A "shawty" (or shorty) is a good-looking female. A synonym is "dime-piece." And I don't really like the sound of that, either, to be honest. Amazing how many ways there are to put down women.

"Buy U a Drank"

"Shawty snap, yeah
damn
Shawty sex
(ay ay )
(she snappin)
yeah yeah yeeah
la da da oo oh.

Snap ya fingers, do your step you can do it all by yourself!

Baby girl, what's your name?
Let me talk to you,
Let me buy you a drink
I'm T-Pain, you know me:
Konvict music, Nappy Boy ooh wee
I know the club close at 3.
What's the chance of you rollin' wit' me
Back to the crib? Show you how I live
Let's get drunk, forget what we did.

Imma buy you a drank oooh whee, then Imma take you home with me
I got money in the bankkkkkkkkkk- Shawty, whatchu think 'bout that?
Find me in the grey cadillac-
We in the bed like- ooh ooh ohh, ooh ooh
We in the bed like- ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh

Talk to me, I talk back; let's talk money, I talk that.
Crunk juice bottles, oakley shades-Shawty got class.
Oh, behave- let's get gone
Walk it out (now walk it out) just like that.
That's what I'm talkin' 'bout
We gone have fun, you gone see-
On that patrone you should get like me.

Imma buy you a drank ooh whee then, ohh, Imma take you home with me.
I got money and the fame- Shawty, whatchu think bout that?
Find me in the grey cadillac-
We in the bed like -ooh ooh ohh, ooh ohh
We in the bed like -ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh.

Won't you meet me at the bar? Respect big pimpin'.
Tell me how you feel- mama, tell me what you sippin'.
A certified dime piece- deserve louy 1-3
150 a shot- 3 for you and 3 for me.
I'm checkin' yo body language- I love the conversation.
And when you lick your lips, I get a tinglin' sensation
Now we're both 'bout tipsy; you say you in the mood
All I need is 'bout a hour- better yet, maybe two.
Let me take you where I live- Ferrari switch gears
When I whisper in ya ear, Ya legs hit the chandelier
Passion fruit and sex all in the atmosphere
Imma let T-Pain sing it, so he can make it clear.

Imma buy you a drank oooh whee, then Imma take you home with me.
I got money in the bankkkkkkkkkk- Shawty whatchu think 'bout that?
Find me in the grey cadillac,
We in the bed like- ooh ooh ohh, ooh ooh.
We in the bed like- ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh.

Let's get gone- walk it out.
Now walk it out think about it (aw, snap).
Now rock rock rock rock, you can do it all by yo'self.

Imma buy you a drank ooh whee, then, ohh Imma take you home with me.
I got money and the fame- Shawty, whatchu think bout that?
Find me in the grey cadillac
We in the bed like -ooh ooh ohh, ooh ohh.
We in the bed like -ooh ooh ooh, ooh ooh ooh."



Well, it's no MacArthur Park, but it's number three on iTunes this week. I particularly like the objectification of women in this one. Not that today's rappers invented THAT problem, but they sure aren't helping. Duh.