ROFL! Fantabulous Educat advice for new coworkers!
Mah darlin' Ramblin' Educat hath unleashed the most bodacious, sagacious and probably perspicacious words I have read all month. Ladies and gentlemen, through Educat, I give you this (and add a BIG "AMEN SISTAH!" to it as punctuation):
....And so, new counselor, a choice presents itself to you. Choose carefully, for the road you take at this juncture will define your first year if not your entire time with us here.
You must choose to be either mean or incompetent. You cannot be both.
I'd advise you mull over your options here. If you choose to be mean, it will mean you must be smart. If your job is done to its utmost, I can handle your bitchiness. I would even respect it, because your work will be done and I won't have to speak to you.
Should you choose to be stupid, I can respect that choice as well. Many others have made this choice and if you'll watch the most successful among them, you'll notice that they're kind souls. We smirk sympathetically when we speak of them and shake our heads with a "bless her heart". We help those dumb people. We even love them.
Dumb bitches do not make friends at work. They don't get much respect either. Please be aware that if you choose this option, you will become an object of contempt to many of your co-workers.
The choice, then, is yours. Thank you in advance for allowing this unsolicited advice: Be mean, be dumb. Just be aware that you cannot be both.