You know, that dog DO hunt!
President Bush, fresh in from Asia (you know, last year, he was just in from Mongolia), just managed to get in a pardon for the White House Turkey in time to save him from Thanksgiving dinner. That's the turkey on the Right. The Far Right.
Ooops. Darn it. That nasty Blogger software must be on the fritz again. Sorry, let's try again.
After being nearly scared to death-- not by the vice president, but by the Bush family dog, who doesn't need a shotgun full of birdshot to know a big chance when he sees one-- the boids got the good news (a few editorial comments thrown in in brackets):
"I am granting a full presidential pardon so they can live out their lives as safe as can be," the president declared.
By virtue of a vote on the White House Web site [the Internets!], the turkeys were named "Flyer" and "Fryer," reports CBS News White House correspondent Mark Knoller.
Fryer was Flyer's understudy and nowhere to be seen during the ceremony [probably in a bunker somewhere having a good stiff shot of bourbon].
...The president explained that his Scottish Terrier, Barney, got involved this year [like a good lobbyist, he was hoping to make a killing!]. The presidential dog typically gets his exercise by chasing a soccer ball around the Rose Garden.
"He came out a little early, as did Flyer," [Sounds like Mark Foley] Mr. Bush said. "And instead of chasing the soccer ball, he chased the bird. And it kind of made the turkey nervous [Still sounds like the Foley scandal]. See, the turkey was nervous to begin with. Nobody's told him yet about the pardon I'm about to give him."
I imagine waiting for a pardon IS a pretty nerve-wracking experience, so the birds are going to get to chill out at Disneyland as marshals of the Thanksgiving Parade there, and in the land of Tofurkey they will hopefully live to a ripe old age.