A Shrewdness of Apes

An Okie teacher banished to the Midwest. "Education is not the filling a bucket but the lighting of a fire."-- William Butler Yeats

Monday, May 15, 2006

Movie Madness Monday: Comedy isn't pretty edition

Yes, even though you thought I would be distracted by a sick dog at the Cornelius house, I have BARELY gotten in my weekly trivia geek contest known as Movie Madness Monday.

Here's the deal: Each Monday, I post some salient quotes from one wonderful example from the world of film. You then respond to said quotes by posting a quote of your own from the same film. As I am addicted to quotes, I get validation, and you help me feel that I am not the only geek in the world that quotes huge blocks of text from movies that I have seen. I seek to delurk you through geekiness! Who can resist?

So here we go, with one of my VERY FAVORITES EVAH:

"And I was just thinking: as much as I really admire your shoes, and as much as I'd love to have a pair just like them, I really wouldn't want to be IN your shoes at this particular place and time."

"Naughty: uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away."

"I think it's brilliant! What an idea! And I was there! He took the idea! He saw it ripe on the tree, he plucked it, and he put it in his pocket. It's, it's, dare I say... genius? Ah, no, no! But maybe, ooh! ah! maybe it is! Maybe I'm in the presence of greatness, maybe I just don't know it. But I saw it... "

"Oh, ho, ho, irony! Oh, no, no, we don't get that here. See, uh, people ski topless here while smoking dope, so irony's not really a, a high priority. We haven't had any irony here since about, uh, '83, when I was the only practitioner of it. And I stopped because I was tired of being stared at."

"He's got a great ass."
"Too bad it's on his shoulders."

"I notice you do not have any tattoos. Wise choice. Jackie Onassis would not have gone so far with an anchor on her arm."

"Who designed these steps? The Marquis de Sade?"

"Hey, Sophie. Do you know the old saying about a man's nose?
"You mean how the size of a man's nose relates to the size of his...?"
"Oh, my God!"

***Wednesday Update: The movie is Roxanne, with Steve Martin, Daryl Hannah, and Shellly Duvall among others-- Steve's brilliant update of Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand. This one makes me laugh every time!

"Your name wouldn't happen to be Dick, would it?!"

"You must LOVE the little birdies to give them THIS to perch on!"


At 5/16/06, 1:28 AM, Blogger Mamacita said...

Would you mind not bobbing your head; the orchestra keeps changing the tempo.

At 5/16/06, 10:02 AM, Anonymous AL Grad said...

"He has whole world in his ... NOSE!"

"Your name wouldn't happen to be Dick would it?"

"I can smell the morning coffee ... in Brazil!"

At 5/16/06, 10:10 AM, Anonymous Mrs. Bog said...

Hmmmm. Even though there is a quote on shoes we know it is not a chick flick...

At 5/16/06, 11:18 AM, Blogger Matt Johnston said...

"Just imagine the size of the grindstone."

At 5/16/06, 2:20 PM, Anonymous AL Grad said...

mrs. Bog: In my opinion, it is a chick flick.

At 5/16/06, 4:35 PM, Blogger "Ms. Cornelius" said...

Is NOT! Okay, no one DIES in it, but still-- not a chick flick!

"Your knockers, I mean your breasts, are like melons...No, not melons, like pillows. Uh, can I fluff your pillows?"

At 5/16/06, 6:28 PM, Anonymous MellowOut said...

Romantic Comedy=Chick Flick? That's why I hate that moniker. My father and I will drop everything if this movie is on TV just to watch the bar scene. And we laugh EVERY SINGLE TIME we watch it. In fact, I can almost recite the scene verbatim.

-"I heard you're tough."
-"I am, but if you used a little tenderizer, I might cook up good."

"Humourous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Sneeze, and it's good-bye Seattle!"

"Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!"

"Sympathetic: Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?" (This one can be used in a variety of situations.)

At 5/16/06, 7:20 PM, Blogger Polski3 said...

I have NO clue as to what movie this is......

At 5/16/06, 7:48 PM, Blogger "Ms. Cornelius" said...

Polski, what mellowout said? He's right! The bar scene is the best for all-out laughs.

I love romantic comedies-- but I don't think that necessarily makes them chick flicks. Romantic comedies are perfect for this type of game, too-- because they're dialogue driven, not action driven.

"So why did you say those things?"
"Tell her you were afraid."
"- Because I was afraid."
"- Of me? Afraid of what?"
"Tell her you were afraid of words."
"Because I was afraid of worms!"

At 5/16/06, 8:47 PM, Anonymous Mrs. Bog said...

Interesting ~ what makes a chick flick?
In this house it is probably any movie that makes the men scream and run from the room!

Luckily we all seem to like action, thriller, chiller, sci-fi and comedies.

Though Bog. Jr. had to review 'Finding Forrester' and wants to buy the dvd he liked it so much.

So it pays to keep an open mind.

At 5/17/06, 2:51 PM, Anonymous AL Grad said...

The bar scene is the best. I agree. However, I think in the TV version, the crowd shouts out a lower number so he has more to say. In the non-TV version, it ends sooner. I could be wrong.

At 5/17/06, 8:00 PM, Anonymous mellowout said...

Ms. C, I'm a Ms. myself. But, yeah, the bar scene is the best.

I think it's really hard to pin down what makes something a chick flick. I believe there are more bad chick flicks than good ones, as much as I hate the term, but I think that's true for most movies. I like Roger Ebert's take on it: it's not what the movie is about, it's HOW it's about. Or something like that.

Yet, it doesn't stop at movies. I despise the fact that they've now applied the term "chick lit" to some more female-oriented books (subject matter and main character) as a strange, Cosmo magazine-like marketing ploy.

At 5/17/06, 10:00 PM, Blogger "Ms. Cornelius" said...

Yeah, although there is some rotten drivel being published right now, and I think the "chick lit" label helps sell this swill.

But there are also some ROTTEN "Guy Movies." Like Starship Troopers,-- GRRRR-- which, being a Robert Heinlein fan since I was about 5, really infuriated me because it was such a barforama. Then they actually made a SEQUEL!!!!


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